Father and Daughter
The other day I (Kester) overheard a father telling his daughter who was moving to a new class in school:
"If you're lucky, you get nice classmates. If you're unlucky, you get annoying classmates lor."
It was a hard-hitting reminder of our collective belief that how our relationships turn out depends on "luck".
We hear people say:
"Wah you're so lucky, your children are all so guai (well-behaved)."
"You're so lucky to have a nice boss / colleagues / husband / wife."
While this may seem like a harmless statement, it perpetuates the idea that we have no power over our relationships. We just have to deal with whatever is thrown at us.
What if the father had instead told his daughter:
"There is a learning in every relationship that comes into your life."
"It is important to discern who are true friends and who are transactional friends."
"Part of growing up is learning to relate to different kinds of people while knowing your boundaries."
"When someone annoys or upsets you, listen to your feelings. For they will tell you what you need, what you believe in, and what you are willing to fight for."
What a difference it would make for us and the next generation.
Let's normalise relationships not as a game of luck, but as our greatest teachers in life.
Kester Shekar-Tay
Therapist and Co-Founder, SACRED® Institute
P.S. Join us for 'Saturday Morning Walks with Kavitha & Kester'. Come meet us in person, and let's chat about anything that matters to you, whether it's relationships, personal growth, or where to get the best food in Singapore. We're keeping the group small (10 people) so we can actually talk and connect properly. Happening on 14th and 28th Feb, 9-11am at Botanic Gardens. $10 per pax, which we'll use to get snacks for everyone.
P.P.S. We've 3 trial slots left for individual or couple therapy with us this month. Click here to book.
